Cult Classic

[6.5] Boris Karloff (Frankenstein) headlines this matinee adventure flick about a group of British archaeologists who fight to keep the recently discovered sword and mask of Genghis Khan out of the hands of the evil Fu Manchu, who would harness the items into deadly weapons against humanity. Karloff plays the evil Fu Manchu with indelible glee, supported by an equally creepy performance by Myrna Loy …

[8.0] In a traveling circus sideshow, a scheming trapeze artist named Cleopatra (Olga Baclanova) marries a gullible, love-struck little person named Hans (Harry Earles) with plans of poisoning him and inheriting his fortunes. But there’s a code among sideshow freaks, and when Cleopatra’s dishonesty is discovered, the freaks set out to make her… ‘one of us’. Tod Browning’s (Dracula) Freaks was originally intended to horrify …

[7.0] If you can get past the ghastly sight of swarthy Sean Connery running around in a red diaper for two hours, you might enjoy this heady sci-fi flick from writer/director John Boorman (Excalibur, Deliverance). It’s the year 2293 and Connery plays Zed, a man whose God, Zardoz, raised him to be a savage killer. But when Zed stows away to another world, he comes …

[6.0] Three older men rent a fancy house on the beach and plan to spend the summer in the company of lovely young women, but they need the help of a young surfer dude (Grant Cramer from Killer Klowns from Outer Space) to successfully land dates. Meanwhile, the young surfer is falling love with his own beach bunny and managing an up-and-coming all-girl band. If …

[7.0] Charles Bronson headlines this above-average low-budget thriller about a cop of questionable morals (Bronson) in pursuit of a serial killer (Gene Davis) who kills in the nude. Early in the film, Bronson tells his boss (Wilford Brimley) that the killer’s “knife is his penis.” The killer is motivated to kill because women won’t give him attention otherwise, making 10 to Midnight all the more …

[3.5] Bo Derek plays Jane to Miles O’Keefe’s mute Tarzan in Tarzan the Ape Man, a cheesy, wannabe-erotic adventure that suffers from poor craftsmanship and a confused tone. The film is directed by Bo’s husband John Derek, who is clearly determined to deliver soft-core porn with this movie. That intention is muddled by the more serious involvement of Richard Harris as Jane’s explorer father. Harris …

[6.0] Rory Calhoun, or proto-George Clooney as I like to call him, stars in this kinda silly but kinda fun sword-and-sandals flick that earned Sergio Leone (A Fistful of Dollars, Once Upon a Time in America) his first major directing credit. Calhoun plays a visiting war hero on the island of Rhodes who gets tangled in a rebel uprising and a Phoenician conquest. He also …

[3.5] Pia Zadora and Craig Sheffer star in a no-budget sci-fi rock opera that’s so abominable, it’s almost charming. When a bunch of space dudes in pink costumes land on Earth looking for the source of rock music, they find it in Zadora’s singing. While Zadora starts to fall in love with the lead alien guy (Tom Nolan), Sheffer gets jealous and decides to stop …

[5.0] Kris Kristofferson and Cheryl Ladd star in this sci-fi yarn about people from the future who travel into the past to kidnap the passengers of doomed plane crashes right before they die. When Kristofferson, a plane crash investigator, discovers future technology among the wreckage of a recent flight, the future sends a woman (Ladd) to intervene… and the two fall in love. Millennium is …

[7.5] Christmas is coming and Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) is determined to have the best old-time family holiday gathering ever, complete with an amazing house lighting display, the biggest Christmas tree ever, and extended family filling the house with Christmas spirit. Of course, nothing goes according to plan. That’s the point of the Vacation movies — to watch things blow up in Chevy Chase’s face …

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