Ghosts of Mars (2001)

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John Carpenter has given us a handful of gems over the years, but Ghosts of Mars is not one of them. The movie’s too exotic for its own good. It starts with some quick but tedious exposition, then plops us off in a confusing, alienating environment with little to latch onto. The story has something to do with ghosts and a bunch of leftover extras from The Road Warrior — I couldn’t care enough to try understanding what the hell was going on. You just don’t care about anyone or anything in this flick. Natasha Henstridge (the Species chick) is supposed to be our main protagonist, but she’s got absolutely no screen presence or charisma — the ball in Cast Away gave a better performance. Ice Cube, Jason Statham, and Joanna Cassidy do the best with what they’ve got, while Pam Grier flounders and Clea DuVall’s talent is simply wasted. Any way you slice it, this movie sucks.

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