Hardbodies (1984)

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Three older men rent a fancy house on the beach and plan to spend the summer in the company of lovely young women, but they need the help of a young surfer dude (Grant Cramer from Killer Klowns from Outer Space) to successfully land dates. Meanwhile, the young surfer is falling love with his own beach bunny and managing an up-and-coming all-girl band. If this all sounds silly, it is. But that’s okay, because Hardbodies is a wish fulfillment movie — unless, curiously, your wish is not to live on the beach, party hard, and have sex all the time.

I liked Grant Cramer — mostly because he’s cute, but also because he musters more charisma than the usual stag in headlights you find in these movies. I also liked one of the older men played by Sorrells Pickard, who was only ever in a couple of other movies after this one. Pickard plays a sweet-natured southern farm owner who sets his sights low during the movie’s courtship phase. You might not expect him to end up with a lady on his looks alone, but Pickard effortlessly demonstrates a reminder to us all that looks aren’t everything and charm can go a long way. Courtney Gains (Children of the Corn, The ‘Burbs) is the only other actor of note, playing a sidekick to Cramer whose running gag is his ability to ‘flip people off in 48 languages’.

As far as sex comedies go, Hardbodies is as funny as most and features more than its fair share of the obligatory boobage (and even one fleeting peen). It’s not breaking any molds, but if you’re in the mood for a party movie, it’ll do the trick.

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