The Meg (2018)

[3.0]

Jason Statham headlines this giant killer shark movie that is far more concerned with pandering sentimental bullshit to Chinese audiences than entertaining American audiences. The Meg should be an exploitation action/horror flick. And indeed director Jon Turteltaub and star Statham are on the record saying the movie released is not the movie they set out to make. The total absence of blood, gore, violence, or visceral thrills and the constant barrage of Hallmark moments involving a scientist father and his do-good daughter are proof-positive that The Meg was bastardized to appeal to the most Chinese people possible in a country that outlaws sex and violence in movies. I was bored with the formula and schmaltzy characterizations. I was disappointed with the lack of well-done action or scares. How the hell do you make a giant killer shark movie without showing the giant killer shark actually kill people? Lame. And who the hell actually likes Jason Statham, anyway? He’s pretty from the neck down, but that face is hideous as hell and I picked up no charisma in this performance.

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