[7] Predator is a tongue-in-cheek matinee mash-up of a combat movie and a sci-fi monster flick. Arnold Schwarzenegger stars as the leader of a commando squad who leads his men into the thick of a jungle where an alien bounty hunter starts picking them off one by one. It’s really Alien in the jungle, with Arnold taking Sigourney Weaver’s place. But the paint-by-numbers screenplay doesn’t …
[6] Road House is so ridiculous, it’s kinda awesome. For starters, Patrick Swayze (and his mullet) play a bouncer/philosopher with lethal fight moves to match his zen attitude. He says no to anesthetic when he gets his cuts stapled shut, he slams his lady lover (Kelly Lynch) against the stone fireplace (ouch!), he stands up for all the little people, and he tears guys’ throats …
[5] On one hand, I like that Total Recall reminds me of an old-fashioned sci-fi yarn from the ’50s. On the other hand, it’s not quite cheesy enough for me to fully embrace that way. I don’t like Arnold Schwarzenegger in the lead role. He does the film no favors, and I can imagine dozens of other actors who might have helped the movie find …
[5] Earthquake is one of many disaster films that came out in the early ’70s — the kind where a rag-tag team of waning celebrities band together to get thrown around for a couple of hours. In this one, Charlton Heston and Ava Gardner headline as a married couple on the outs. She’s a pill popper and he’s seeing a young widow (Genevieve Bujold) on …
[8] James Gunn (Slither) co-writes and directs one of the best Marvel movies ever. The plot is simple, nothing new or groundbreaking. Good guys gotta stop bad guys from literally destroying the world. Been there, done that, right? And like most Marvel movies, the bad guys are pretty generic and forgettable. And there are, like, what? Three or four bad guys here? Anyway, it doesn’t …
[7] Eddie Murphy made his big screen debut opposite Nick Nolte in this action-comedy from director Walter Hill (The Warriors, Southern Comfort). Nolte plays a cop who begrudgingly seeks the help of Murphy’s character, a thief serving the last few months of his jail time. Together they try to track down a killer (Dexter‘s James Remar), and gosh darn if they don’t start to become …
[9] In this sequel from director Matt Reeves (Cloverfield, Let Me In), the virus introduced in the previous film has obliterated more than 99% of the human population worldwide. In San Francisco, there is a small colony of humans focused on repairing a hydroelectric dam in the Red Woods so they can have electricity and possibly reconnect with other survivors. But its in the Red …
[7] The first two-thirds of this franchise reboot (a second after the 2001 Tim Burton clunker) are surprisingly good. I was expecting to see computer-generated monkeys go nuts for two hours (all of which is saved for the less interesting final act), but before then you get James Franco playing Dr Frankenstein and struggling with responsibility for his creation, a hyper-intelligent orphaned chimp named Caesar …
[4] Mel Gibson and Robert Downey Jr star in this action-comedy about American pilots who get caught up in a government-sanctioned opium trade in Vietnam War-era Laos. Once the pilots realize they’re about to be framed by one of their commanders to appease a head-hunting politician, they have to find a way to save their reputations and their lives. Air America is kinda heady stuff …
[7] It’s the future and an alien race has just about taken over all of Europe and Asia. Tom Cruise enters this scenario as a cowardly military spokesperson forced into the front lines of combat by a shit-if-I-care general (Brendan Gleeson). During his first big battle with the aliens (who look like Rastafarian tumbleweeds), Cruise’s character dies… and wakes up a day earlier, but with …
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