[5] Mutant sea creatures attack a coastal community in this schlocky flick from producer Roger Corman. It’s pretty standard, passable, monster movie fare. The requisite boobage and gore were filmed by one director, while another handled the pesky plot and character development. Like many Corman features, this one features early work from emerging talents, including makeup effects by Rob Bottin (Legend, RoboCop) and music by …
[7] For the entirety of this film, you never leave a pine box buried in the desert. It’s a gimmick, but it’s a good one. Star Ryan Reynolds and director Rodrigo Cortes work magic to build drama and suspense in a confined space. By the end of the movie, you’re as anxious for Ryan to get out of the box as you’ve ever been engaged …
[5] This Australian TV movie from Peter Weir is a subdued psychological thriller about a woman who grows increasingly frustrated and fearful of an eccentric plumber. Weir (Witness, Dead Poets Society) throws in a little commentary on the issue of class prejudice and does a good job building some suspense, but the stakes aren’t high enough, nor the motivations dire enough, for the movie to …
[2] German WWII soldiers killed and tossed into a French lake come back for revenge in this underwater Nazi zombie flick that is mostly famous for its generous amount of full-frontal female splendor. But it pretty much fails on all other counts: terrible makeup effects, chintzy war recreation scenes, underwater photography that was obviously shot in a YMCA pool, and a ridiculously sentimental subplot involving a …
[3] A super-low budget Australian flick that tries very, very hard to be a heady psychological thriller. From start to finish, there are only five characters and a single beach setting, so the movie ends up feeling claustrophobic in a bad, cheap way. Once the characters have difficulty discerning fantasy from reality and one of them turns out to (maybe?) be the Devil, I lost …
[4] This ‘bad in a good way’ sci-fi/horror flick features a melting astronaut who must feed on human flesh to keep from becoming a puddle of goo. I’m all for melting people, but The Incredible Melting Man is too narrow in scope. The script strings together one ‘stalk n’ kill’ scene after another, with little attention to the naturally sympathetic plight of its title character. …
[3] A cannibal stalks campers while the ghosts of his two children haunt the forest in this goofy wannabe slasher flick that, despite having nature at the ready, lacks any atmosphere whatsoever. There’s a nice scene where a bad actor doesn’t realize he’s eating his own girlfriend, and the soundtrack is kinda cool in that gitchy, synthesized way, but other than that, The Forest is …
[7] Gregory Peck plays a prosecutor terrorized by Robert Mitchum, a recently released convict Peck sent to prison eight years ago. Director J. Lee Thompson (Guns of Navarone) takes his cues from Hitchcock and crafts a film that can compete with much of Hitch’s work (it helps to have Bernard Herrmann doing the music.) The censors put just enough of a damper on the film …
[6] Dexter‘s Desmond Harrington stars in this competent psycho-sexual horror flick about a guy who confuses reality and fantasy after falling in love with a lifelike sex doll. After gaining a little sexual confidence through his interaction with the doll, he’s able to start a relationship with a real-life woman (Melissa Sagemiller), but when Harrington’s character believes the sex doll is getting jealous, things start …
[3] I dislike remakes in general, but Michael Bay can kiss a special place on my ass for remaking and homogenizing every horror classic from my childhood. His Platinum Dunes company is a shit factory, and A Nightmare on Elm Street doesn’t buck the trend. Bay’s director of choice here (miscellaneous hack so-and-so) can’t resist but tinker with Freddy’s backstory, putting too fine a point …
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