[7] You know what? Screw it. I like this movie and I don’t care who knows it. Does it break the rules Wes Craven set up in the original film by having Freddy (Robert Englund) bust out of dreamland to terrorize a bunch of kids at a pool party? Yeah, sure. Is it campy and homoerotic? Most definitely. But it’s also got some great special …
[7] After suffering the suicide of his older brother, Steve (James Marsden) and his family relocate to Cradle Bay, where some of the kids at school aren’t quite themselves these days. With the help of new-found friends Rachel (Katie Holmes) and Gavin (Nick Stahl), Steve discovers that a local doctor, Caldicott (Bruce Greenwood), is conspiring with parents to lobotomize their teens in order to create …
[5] After the mysterious death of his wife sends him on a hunt for clues, a journalist ends up in a small West Virginia town where a series of strange events and sightings of a shadowy, supernatural character portend an oncoming disaster. Richard Gere and Laura Linney do respectable jobs as the reporter and town sheriff in this somewhat serviceable mystery-thriller, but the script is …
[8] In this remake of a 1971 film, Crispin Glover (Back to the Future, River’s Edge) stars as the title character, a socially misfit momma’s boy with a telepathic connection to the colony of rats collecting in his basement. With his bed-ridden mother and condescending boss constantly picking at his self-esteem, it’s just a matter of time before Willard snaps and sends his army of …
[6] Katharine Isabelle (Ginger Snaps) puts in a solid performance as a student surgeon whose life takes a serendipitous turn into the underground world of extreme body modification in Jen and Sylvia Soska’s American Mary. After one odd surgery procures her some much-needed cash, her name is quickly bandied about the message boards of people who are into things like… horns, tails, split tongues, appendage …
[6] As far as early ’80s made-for-TV movies, you could do a lot worse than Dark Night of the Scarecrow. Larry Drake (Dr. Giggles, Darkman) plays as mentally-challenged man who is murdered by vigilantes after being falsely accused of assaulting a young girl. When the vigilantes start getting killed off one by one, they start to wonder — is Drake still alive and exacting his …
[3] A man decides to rob the home of a client, unaware that a psycho-killer has already laid claim to the family and has booby-trapped their entire house. If you’d never ever seen a home invasion or torture porn flick, maybe The Collector would be something of novel interest. But there is absolutely nothing new here — it’s just a series of Saw-like death sequences, …
[4] Somehow, Oscar-winners Rod Steiger (In the Heat of the Night) and Kim Hunter (A Streetcar Named Desire) got swindled into starring in this sub-par creature feature about a scientist (Hunter) who performs Frankenstein-like genetic experiments in her basement. On her deathbed, she begs her son (a wooden David Allen Brooks) to destroy her experiments before it’s too late. And wouldn’t you know it? One …
[5] Somehow, Roger Corman’s rip-offs tend to be the best around. This one takes aim at Alien, centering around a team of scientists who accidentally breed a genetic mutant that escapes and starts eating them, all one by one. The dialogue is atrocious in a ‘so bad, it’s good’ kinda way and the special effects are hit-and-miss, but Tim Suhrstedt’s cinematography is far better than …
[4] Oscar-winning director Barry Levinson (Rain Man, Good Morning Vietnam) slums it with this found footage horror flick about a small Maryland community that gets infected by mutant parasites. The core concept is a solid one, building off the real-life parasite Cymothoa, which eats away and replaces the tongues of fishes (Google some pictures if you dare!) Unfortunately, found footage movies are officially cliche and it’s …
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