[5]

Armie Hammer (The Social Network) stars as the legendary masked man while Johnny Depp picks up the mantle of Tonto in this big-budget version of The Lone Ranger from director Gore Verbinski (The Ring) and producer Jerry Bruckheimer. It's painfully obvious that the creative team is working very hard to rekindle the flame they ignited with the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, complete with improbable action set-pieces that rise up out of nowhere and characterizations as broad as the old-fashioned melodramas the film is based on.

I usually complain that big-budget action movies ring hollow due to a deficiency of character investment, but I can’t say that The Lone Ranger doesn’t make an effort. Screenwriters Justin Haythe, Ted Elliott, and Terry Rossio spend a lot of time trying to make you feel for the central characters. The Lone Ranger is seeking justice for the death of his brother, while Tonto is haunted by deep regret for a deadly mistake he made as a child. But these back story elements feel tacked on, inconsequential to the narrative and tonally out of place in a movie that’s already a bit of a mish-mash (the film swings from poop jokes to Native American genocide).

I think the Pirates franchise skated by on the merits of Johnny Depp’s charisma. But as Tonto, you don’t get the witty one-liners and fuck-if-I-care nonchalance that made Jack Sparrow so endearing. Tonto’s an introspective weirdo — interesting, but not enough to hang a movie on, especially when the Lone Ranger himself is such a weak, dependent character. Since everything else about the story is pedestrian, you kinda have to look to Depp to save the whole endeavor. One thing is for certain: the characters aren’t nearly interesting enough to warrant the film’s two-and-one-half hour run time.

Despite the predictable plotting, ho-hum characters, and bloated length, there are a few worthwhile action sequences worth the price of admission. The best among them is the climactic train chase, set to the tune of the William Tell Overture (a welcome touch). The supporting cast is all solid, including Helena Bonham Carter as a bordello owner with a lethal fake leg and William Fichtner as the film’s primary baddie, a cannibalistic man whose scarred upper lip constantly showcases a silver fang.

Oscar Nomination: Best Makeup & Hairstyling, Visual Effects