Troll 2 (1990)
[5] In the 'so bad, it's (almost) good' category, welcome to Troll 2. When a vacationing family discover a town full of goblins disguised as people, they have to escape before they become goblin food. This is one of the…
Piranha 3D (2010)
[6] Gore, boobs, and monsters have always been a recipe for success -- at least a moderate degree of it. Piranha 3D, Alexandre Aja's remake of Roger Corman's cult classic, proves the recipe may well be immortal. This flick is…
Street Trash (1987)
[7] Street Trash is grade-A schlock, precisely the kind of movie that would make your mama cry if she knew you were watching it. An unwitting liquor store owner discovers an old crate of booze and starts selling it to…
Matinee (1992)
[7] John Goodman stars as a schlock filmmaker previewing his latest atomic horror flick during the height of the Cuban Missile Crisis. The script by Charlie Haas draws clunky parallels between the real life threat of nuclear destruction and the…
The Raven (1963)
[7] After success with House of Usher, The Pit and the Pendulum, and Tales of Terror, Roger Corman further exploited Edgar Allan Poe's name with The Raven. But this time, the film bears little resemblance to Poe's story. Instead, legendary sci-fi…
Cooties (2014)
[4] Elijah Wood and Rainn Wilson star in this tepid horror-comedy about a group of teachers terrorized by children gone savage after infected chicken nuggets are served in the school cafeteria. I was bored with this one. It's neither funny nor…
The Cars That Ate Paris (1974)
[5] I'm at a loss for this one. I saw the movie, but I'm still not sure what it's about. There's a town that sabotages drivers, all so the community can trade auto parts among themselves and hand the drivers…
Teaching Mrs. Tingle (1999)
[5] Screenwriter Kevin Williamson (Scream, Dawson's Creek) made his directorial debut with this surprisingly mediocre horror flick about three high school students who kidnap a teacher to try and force her to reconsider a failing grade. Helen Mirren musters some…
Bad Biology (2008)
[5] How do you review a movie about a guy and girl with murderous mutant genitalia? In the hands of David Cronenberg, this could have been a truly disturbing, fascinating horror film. But in lieu of Cronenberg, we have Frank…
The Monster Squad (1987)
[6] When classic movie monsters invade their town, a group of kids band together to keep them from finding a magical amulet that will enable the creeps to rule the world. The Monster Squad is an ebulient if uneven little…