#12: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989) [2] This is the worst of the Fridays. The subtitle is a misleading marketing gimmick, as Jason only arrives in Manhattan for the last twenty minutes. Those twenty minutes are okay, if only to see Jason put a few New Yorkers in their place. But the rest of the movie is interminably boring and the …
[8] Guillermo del Toro (Pan’s Labyrinth, Pacific Rim) serves up an old-fashioned gothic romance the likes of which we haven’t seen on the big screen since Roger Corman last dabbled with tales from Edgar Allen Poe. Heavily inspired by the Bronte sisters and Hitchcock’s Rebecca, Crimson Peak is the story of Edith, a young turn-of-the-century American woman (Mia Wasikowska) wooed into the dangerous embrace of …
[3] I enjoyed the blend of dark humor and horror that Eli Roth brought to his first film, Cabin Fever. And even though it was pretty much torture porn, I thought Hostel had merit, too. But The Green Inferno is a mess to me. I instantly hated the characters. Granted, I think we’re supposed to hate them, but since the whole cannibal thing doesn’t really …
[7] When a high school class boards a plane for a field trip to Paris, one of the students (Devon Sawa) has a premonition that the plane will explode. He freaks out and unboards, bringing a few others with him (including Seann William Scott and Dawson’s Creek costar Kerr Smith), and sure enough — boom! But the kids find out that fate doesn’t like to …
[7] I think Kevin Smith (Chasing Amy, Red State) is a much more interesting filmmaker now that he’s making horror films. Tusk is a controversial move for the director — it’s too silly for die-hard horror fans, but too off-putting to be a comedy. Justin Long stars as a podcaster who travels to remote Canada to interview a strange but alluring old sea dog, played …
[6] A scientist sends a man with dangerous telepathic powers on a mission to destroy a renegade adversary with similar powers. David Cronenberg (Videodrome, The Dead Zone) wrote and directed Scanners, so you know it’s sure to be a bit slow-paced and sublimely melancholy, but with a couple moments of unforgettable gore. Here the big visceral accent comes about fifteen minutes in, when the bad …
[8] Every spring, I feel jaded when it comes to Hollywood tent pole flicks, and every summer I end up being surprised at how much I enjoy a few of them. Maybe it’s a result of low expectations, or maybe I love monster movies and disaster movies so much, they just have to be pretty shitty before I’ll give ’em the thumbs down. Anyway, I’ll …
[4] William Hurt makes his big-screen debut in this blend of psychedelia and cockamamy psychology based on a novel by Paddy Chayefsky (Network). Hurt plays a college professor of science who experiments with drugs inside isolation tanks to, oh, I don’t know — I think it was to find God or something. Anyway, the experiments actually end up regressing Hurt’s DNA and he slowly turns …
[7] Exists is easily the best Bigfoot movie ever made. There’s still room for improvement, but I have to applaud writer Jamie Nash and director Eduardo Sánchez (The Blair Witch Project) for making my favorite boogeyman as scary as he ought to be. The monster is fast, furious, angry, and towering. The story isn’t the most original, but it suffices. Five college kids sneak away …
[4] Alex Essoe stars as a young woman who’ll do anything to become a successful actress. When a mysterious Hollywood secret society ‘auditions’ her and offers her everything she’s ever wanted, she stops at nothing and sacrifices everything for eternal fame. Essoe does a good job and there are some nifty makeup effects in the later half of the film, but I really disliked Essoe’s …
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