Kick-Ass (2010)

Kick-Ass (2010)

[8] A dorky teenager (Aaron Johnson) decides to dress up like a superhero and help people in need. He encounters a few other kids with similar ambitions, and before you know it, you have a hyper-violent, low-rent, joyous abomination of the superhero…
Teen Wolf Too (1987)

Teen Wolf Too (1987)

[2] The charm that young Jason Bateman exhibited on television's The Hogan Family is absent here, stifled by a painfully insipid script and direct-to-video production values. I can't think of another movie sequel that so closely mimics its predecessor. The only differences…
All Dogs Go to Heaven (1989)

All Dogs Go to Heaven (1989)

[6] Don Bluth's films (The Land Before Time, The Secret of NIMH) tend to be too mature for children and too immature for adults. Consider All Dogs Go to Heaven, where one moment you have cutsey critters singing a cringe-worthy song about…
Twilight: New Moon (2009)

Twilight: New Moon (2009)

[2] A bunch of sad, scowling, mopey teenagers cry and whine for two hours because they're afraid to fuck each other. Some of them are vampires, some of them are werewolves, but nothing ever comes of it. And the main girl? Man,…
The Hurt Locker (2009)

The Hurt Locker (2009)

[7] Kathryn Bigelow (Strange Days, Near Dark) won the Oscar for directing this suspense thriller about three soldiers who disarm bombs in Iraq. The movie also won Best Picture, maybe just because nothing better came out during the year (except the REAL…
Precious (2009)

Precious (2009)

[7] Precious is the kind of movie a studio exec must dread hearing a pitch about: "So, there's this girl, and she's really sad, her daddy raped her, she named her down syndrome baby Mongo, her mother violently abuses her, she's HIV-positive,…
Where Eagles Dare (1968)

Where Eagles Dare (1968)

[6] There is at least a certain amount of fun to be had in watching Clint Eastwood pump lead into Nazis. Where Eagles Dare is about a group of Allied forces trying to raid a Nazi stronghold to rescue a captured General who…
Robin Hood (1973)

Robin Hood (1973)

[6] This Disney flick may be a minor effort in comparison to the company's more perrenial classics, but there's a dated, folksy charm about this all-animal take on the classic Robin Hood legend. The simple story is populated with fairly memorable, endearing…
Whip It (2009)

Whip It (2009)

[6] Drew Barrymore makes her directorial debut with what is basically a high school sports movie. It reminded me of those '80s flicks where the young guy (be it Cruise, Bacon, Lowe, or Modine) commited himself to a sport his parents frowned…
9 (2009)

9 (2009)

[6] Shane Acker's computer-animated post-apocalyptic fantasy is visually interesting, but the characters are bland and the story is wobbly. The movie is a tonal quagmire, trying to balance its dark and dreary subject matter with a kid-friendly PG-13 rating. The plot starts…