[2] Kevin Bacon stars in this ridiculously contrived and dull-as-dishwater drama about a stock market whiz who loses everything and decides to enter the allegedly interesting and exciting world of… bicycle delivery service. Quicksilver is and odd fucking movie that treats bicycling the same way Top Gun treats fighter piloting. There’s just one problem with that: zooming over the ocean in a jet plane is …
[6] Tom Hanks and Shelley Long star as an engaged couple who make a hasty mansion purchase, only to discover the building is falling apart and needs more repairs than they can likely afford. The Money Pit takes about twenty minutes to get going, but once the house starts falling apart on Hanks and Long, it’s cute enough. There are a couple of fun Rube …
[7] Meryl Streep stars in the true story of a plutonium processing worker who is purposefully contaminated with the lethal substance after she initiates a whistle-blowing campaign about the company’s safety standards. Kurt Russel plays the love interest and Cher plays the best-friend and would-be lesbian lover. As directed by Mike Nichols (The Graduate), Silkwood conjures a very specific and palpable setting — the impoverished …
[6] This may be one of the least insufferable John Cusack romantic comedies out there. He’s nauseatingly pussy-whipped like always, willing to drill a hole in his own head to catch a piece of hair pie. When his friend (Anthony Edwards) promises there’s a hot blonde (Nicollette Sheridan) ready to bump uglies out in L.A., Cusack, always sickeningly deranged at the mere hint of poon-tang, …
[7] Robert Altman directs this adaptation of David Rabe’s award-winning stage play about four young Vietnam draftees who let their fears and insecurities get the better of them after one of them reveals he’s gay. Streamers is a character study that takes place over two nights in a U.S. army barracks. Matthew Modine plays the all-talk tough guy, David Alan Grier plays the mediator of the …
[7] Mickey Rourke stars as a ’50s detective hired by a mysterious client (Robert DeNiro) to determine whether a missing man is living or dead. Rourke travels from New York to New Orleans interviewing characters played by Charlotte Rampling, Lisa Bonet and others, before realizing his subjects are all getting murdered and that the case might be a supernatural one involving witchcraft and the Devil. …
[7] The Apple is a glorious abomination of cinema that must be seen to be believed. Catherine Mary Stewart (The Last Starfighter, Night of the Comet) and George Gilmour star as singing lovers who are torn apart when an evil record label drives a wedge between them. Through religious allegory, disco, lavish song numbers, sex, and camp, the two are finally reunited at a hippie …
[6] Jeff Bridges’ wife is murdered and Glenn Close goes to court to prove his innocence. Meanwhile, Peter Coyote’s convinced that Bridges is the killer and Robert Loggia is doing investigation on the side to help Close’s case. And dang it, if Bridges and Close don’t start falling in love. Is he innocent? Is he guilty? You really shouldn’t have to wonder very hard. The …
[6] Nastassja Kinski stars in this slow-moving tale of a woman who discovers her sexual urges transform her into a black leopard. Kinski learns her brother, played by Malcolm McDowell, shares the same curse and wants to forge a sexual (and incestuous) relationship with her so they can both experience sex without killing their partners. But Kinski ends up having the hots for a zoo-keeper …
[6] A 1943 Navy experiment to cloak a ship from enemy radar accidentally sends two sailors forty-one years into the future. Once they arrive in 1984, they are pursued by the military and begin suffering a mysterious illness that threatens their lives unless they can get back to 1943. Michael Paré (Eddie and the Cruisers) and Bobby Di Cicco play the sailors, and Nancy Allen (Carrie, RoboCop) plays …
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