A Christmas Story (1983)

A Christmas Story (1983)

[8] A boy growing up in 1940's middle-America tries to convince his parents to get him a Red Ryder B.B. gun for Christmas. It's hard to judge a movie that has become a holiday tradition. Growing up, I don't think a single…
Thrashin’ (1986)

Thrashin’ (1986)

[2] Thrashin' is the quintessential bad '80s movie. There's an anemic plot involving two warring skateboarding gangs and a boy who falls in love with the sister of a rival gang member. It's a goofy Romeo and Juliet on tiny wheels, where…
The Black Cauldron (1985)

The Black Cauldron (1985)

[5] There was definitely potential. A dark Disney movie based on Lloyd Alexander's Chronicles of Prydain, about a farm boy's brave attempt to stop a demonic king from conquering the land with his army of skeletal warriors? Sign me up! Unfortunately, Disney…
The Gate (1987)

The Gate (1987)

[6] Two boys accidentally uncover a portal to hell and then have to fend off the demons that emerge from it. Probably for budgetary reasons, The Gate takes place almost entirely in one house, but the menace really needed to grow beyond…
Clash of the Titans (1981)

Clash of the Titans (1981)

[8] Special effects maestro Ray Harryhausen brings Greek myths to life in Clash of the Titans. The story centers on heroic Perseus, favored son of Zeus, who must accomplish several deadly chores in order to save his beloved Andromeda from being sacrificed…
Teen Wolf Too (1987)

Teen Wolf Too (1987)

[2] The charm that young Jason Bateman exhibited on television's The Hogan Family is absent here, stifled by a painfully insipid script and direct-to-video production values. I can't think of another movie sequel that so closely mimics its predecessor. The only differences…
All Dogs Go to Heaven (1989)

All Dogs Go to Heaven (1989)

[6] Don Bluth's films (The Land Before Time, The Secret of NIMH) tend to be too mature for children and too immature for adults. Consider All Dogs Go to Heaven, where one moment you have cutsey critters singing a cringe-worthy song about…
Troll (1986)

Troll (1986)

[6] Troll is a dark fantasy confined to an apartment building where an evil Troll is sacrificing the tenants to open the doors to another dimension. The makeup effects are a bit hit and miss, with the main troll character being the…
Valley Girl (1983)

Valley Girl (1983)

[5] A girl from the San Fernando valley (Deborah Foreman) falls for a city boy (Nicolas Cage), much to the chagrin of superficial friends. Martha Coolidge's Valley Girl hit the scene just as John Hughes began directing his string of iconic teen…
The Fox and the Hound (1981)

The Fox and the Hound (1981)

[7] Disney's The Fox and the Hound opens with a young fox being chased by a hunting dog. It scrambles through the woods and finds a hiding place to ditch the baby fox it's carrying in its mouth. Then it continues running...…