[6] Jupiter Ascending is probably the last big-budget studio picture from Andy & Lana Wachowski, the creators of The Matrix trilogy and some other movies that failed to live up to expectation. I admire the Wachowski’s ambition and I appreciate how they always try to push the envelope with content and execution. It’s not always a success, unfortunately. Jupiter Ascending is a huge, epic story …
[6] Pete Travis directs from a script by Alex Garland (Ex Machina, Sunshine) this second attempt to bring the comic book character Judge Dredd to the big screen. This is a smaller-scale production than the 1995 Sylvester Stallone version, but it’s a tighter story with more tonal consistency (no Rob Schneider here, kids). Travis and Garland’s version starts off strong, introducing us to Judge Dredd …
[7] A horny teenager and his dog communicate telepathically while wandering a post-apocalyptic wasteland in search of food and women in this adaptation of Harlan Ellison’s novella. The heart of the movie is the antagonistic but loving relationship between its title characters, the human half of which is played by future Miami Vice star Don Johnson. The narrative is loose, ultimately leading to Johnson’s capture …
[2] A cheesy-looking bug alien goes on a rape rampage in New York City. Any actress inclined to go full-frontal will wind up the mother of its space spawn! Breeders is a thinly veiled attempt by a porn director (Tim Kincaid) to go ‘legit’. The result is a perfect mash-up of a B-monster movie and soft core porn, with copious female nudity, a handful of …
[6] A passenger plane crashes after a close encounter with a UFO. The survivors are left in a remote desert to defend themselves against a blob-like alien that creates a vaginal slit in its victims’ foreheads before crawling inside their brains, commandeering their bodies, and turning them into blood-sucking vampires. Needless to say, this film is Japanese. Goke, Body Snatcher from Hell is gitchy-cool for …
[7] J.J. Abrams (Lost, Super 8) takes the directing reigns from creator George Lucas and delivers a better film than any of the prequels. Original core cast members join new players in a script co-written by Abrams and Lawrence Kasdan, who penned The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi with Lucas. The story takes place thirty years after the events of Return of …
[7] Episode III is far and away the best of the Star Wars prequel trilogy. Everything I don’t like about the previous two films remains true, namely that it’s over-produced and the characters aren’t very interesting or engaging. But at least George Lucas and co-screenwriter Jonathan Hale finally cash in on some of the story’s dramatic potential. As the Emperor (Ian McDiarmid in a starring …
[6] Part two of George Lucas’ Star Wars prequel trilogy is still cluttered and over-produced like the previous installment, but it’s a modest improvement over part one, thanks in large part to a solid final act. But man, oh, man, do you have a long tedious slog to get to that third act. Lucas and co-screenwriter Jonathan Hale bank on cross-cutting story lines (ala Empire …
[6] It’s shiny and exciting to look at, a gorgeous smorgasbord of fantastic sets, wardrobe, make-up, and visual effects. But it’s also grotesquely over-produced, almost turning these assets into something garish and distracting. It’s a shame the considerable talents of Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, and Natalie Portman couldn’t be put to better use. All three appear insufferably constrained in their roles. Jake Lloyd as young …
[2] Glaciers move faster than Robert Altman’s bleak post-apocalyptic drama. The ice-age backdrop is the only interesting thing about Quintet, but it’s completely irrelevant to the story line. Paul Newman plays one of the last survivors of the human race, all of whom hole up and play board games, waiting to die. One group of players ups the ante by wagering people’s lives. Something of …
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