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The third-ever Academy Award for ‘Best Picture’ went to this somewhat clunky, melodramatic story spanning three decades in the lives of two British families — one upstairs aristocrats, the other downstairs servants. It may have been one of the most popular films of 1933, but it’s not one to which the passage of time has been particularly kind. Diana Wynyard and Clive Brook play the well-off Marryotts, while Una O’Connor and Herbert Mundin play the working-class Bridges. (You might remember O’Connor from her colorful roles in Bride of Frankenstein and The Invisible Man.) Together, these two families weather the Boer War, the death of Queen Victoria, the sinking of the Titanic, and the first World War. The film is basically a bunch of vignettes stacked on top of one another. A few of them are almost interesting, but before you can ever get invested, the film skips to another year and another tragedy. Death follows both families everywhere (Game of Thrones has nothing on Cavalcade) and is especially hard on the children.

To their credit, director Frank Lloyd and playwright Noel Coward refrain from reveling in obviously dramatic moments, but they also gloss over character development and any kind of worthwhile theme or message. I mean, when Cavalcade is over, the message is pretty much just ‘shit happens and then you die.’ The film is a sort of proto-Forrest Gump. And like Gump, Cavalcade waxes Christian conservative in its later reels, with scary montage scenes of jazz music, partying, and ‘vices’. (You will actually see the headline, “Vice Orgies on the Rise” in this movie.) And the implication is that this swirl of hedonistic pleasure is as equal a threat to society as a World War. Puh-leeze.

Pretty much the entire cast is overacting here, with the exception of Irene Browne as Mrs. Marryott’s socialite friend. Wynyard earned a Best Actress nomination that she might have earned in a handful of silent scenes, but whenever she speaks she’s pretty dreadful. And if you ever decide to watch the movie, I hope you like to hear “Auld Lang Syne” because it’s played over and over and over again. (And who the hell actually likes that God-awful song anyway?)

Academy Awards: Best Picture, Best Director, Best Art Direction

Oscar Nomination: Best Actress (Diana Wynyard)