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Pulse is astonishingly bad in almost every way imaginable. The only nice thing I can say about it is that leading lady Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars) seems to be doing the best she can with the material. But other than that, the film is like staring into a giant anus that never stops shitting on you. First there’s the idiotic concept — dead people taking over the world through our computers and cell phones. I shouldn’t have even bothered. Then there’s the fact that Ms Bell and her leading man (the beautiful but terminally dull Ian Somerhalder) have no relationship whatsoever — they’re two dimensional stock characters through and through. Then there’s the rest of the script, cowritten by Wes Craven (?!?!?!?), which struggles to make any sense at all. I mean, can red duct tape really hold vengeful spirits at bay? Really?!?!? Then there’s the direction and cinematic style (or lack thereof?), filled to the brim with cliches and trends. Want to watch yet another monochromatic, high-contrast horror film full of jerky jump cuts, a droning soundtrack, and herky-jerky ghost people? Then Pulse is the movie for you. This is the kind of movie that turns a suicide jump from a clocktower scene boring. This is the kind of movie that throws in a crashing 737 just because it can. I could go on forever, but suffice to say, this is truly one of the absolute worst movies I’ve ever seen — and I’ve seen at least four thousand of them. Right down there with Casper Van Dien’s Tarzan movie and the entire subgenre of Sasquatch porn.