Swamp Thing (1982)

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In this adaptation of the DC Comics series, a scientist working on a bio-engineering experiment is killed in a lab explosion that turns him into a creature, half-man and half plant. Super-strength and the ability to heal people are perks of the transformation, which come in handy since the military is trying to find him and steal his formula for their own nefarious purposes. Can he successfully kill them all? And more importantly, can he ever get a girlfriend like Adrienne Barbeau (Creepshow, The Fog) to love a lumbering green mudpile?

This incarnation of Swamp Thing suffers from an uninspired script, shoddy makeup and effects, and shallow character development. Maybe writer/director Wes Craven (Scream, A Nightmare on Elm Street) was drawing too much inspiration from the campy ’60s Batman TV show, or maybe budget restrictions were insurmountable. Either way, the movie plays like a swamp-based episode of The Dukes of Hazzard, with too much emphasis on chases and stunt work and not nearly enough on the title character’s internal drama or his relationship with Barbeau.

If you’re looking for a silver lining, I’ll give you two: Adrienne Barbeau’s breasts. In the uncut version of the movie, they appear in a fairly gratuitous outdoor bathing scene, and as far as breasts go, Ms. Barbeau is pretty blessed. With Louis Jourdan, Ray Wise, Dick Durock, and Reggie Batts.