1987

[6] Two boys accidentally uncover a portal to hell and then have to fend off the demons that emerge from it. Probably for budgetary reasons, The Gate takes place almost entirely in one house, but the menace really needed to grow beyond in order to make a bigger impression. The demons themselves lack identity. They take the form of tiny monsters, one big monster, and …

[2] The charm that young Jason Bateman exhibited on television’s The Hogan Family is absent here, stifled by a painfully insipid script and direct-to-video production values. I can’t think of another movie sequel that so closely mimics its predecessor. The only differences between the two movies are the lead actor and the sport they play. The film even returns several inconsequential supporting characters, whether they’re …

[7] Agent 007 must stop an arms dealer from starting World War III in the 15th installment in the long-running franchise. Timothy Dalton makes his debut as James Bond. The Living Daylights is less campy than many previous Bond films, attributed largely to Dalton’s more serious take on the character. What it lacks in cheeky charm, it makes up in action. The script does a spectacular …

[7] Street Trash is grade-A schlock, precisely the kind of movie that would make your mama cry if she knew you were watching it. An unwitting liquor store owner discovers an old crate of booze and starts selling it to the local homeless population. Unfortunately, the toxic brew has a nasty side effect — the drinker quickly disintegrates into a puddle of bubbling goo! The …

[3] I went into Jaws: The Revenge (the fourth movie in the series) thinking, ‘Hey, it can’t be worse than the third one.’ And I was right. It’s exactly as bad as the third one. Though for slightly different reasons. Part four brings back not only the shark, but the Brody family. Lorraine Gary reprises her role as Mrs. Brody, now widowed, and her two …

[6] Kevin Costner stars as a Navy officer who gets enlisted by the Secretary of Defense (Gene Hackman) to get secret information from the CIA about a new Russian submarine project. Both men are sleeping with the same woman (Sean Young), but only Costner knows it. When the Secretary murders Young in a fit of rage, he tries to use Costner to help him cover up …

[6] When classic movie monsters invade their town, a group of kids band together to keep them from finding a magical amulet that will enable the creeps to rule the world. The Monster Squad is an ebulient if uneven little horror/fantasy/kiddie film from the grand ole ’80s. I was surprised how politically incorrect the kids were (refreshing), and how daring the story was at times …

[7] Eric Stoltz, Mary Stuart Masterson, and Lea Thompson star in this Howard Deutch-directed film from writer/producer/’80’s teen titan’ John Hughes. Stoltz is a high schooler pining for a popular girl (Thompson), all while his tom-girl best friend pines for him (Masterson). Masterson has the juiciest part here, too afraid to tell her buddy that she loves him. You gotta give Thompson credit for riding …

[8] This film version of V.C. Andrews’ popular novel is considerably toned down, but it’s still a wonderfully creepy and sadistic melodrama. A widower takes her four children to live with their grandmother, who views them all as vile sinners. The wicked old woman (played by Nurse Ratched herself, Louise Fletcher) religiously brainwashes the mother and locks the children in a single room, where they …

[7] Predator is a tongue-in-cheek matinee mash-up of a combat movie and a sci-fi monster flick. Arnold Schwarzenegger stars as the leader of a commando squad who leads his men into the thick of a jungle where an alien bounty hunter starts picking them off one by one. It’s really Alien in the jungle, with Arnold taking Sigourney Weaver’s place. But the paint-by-numbers screenplay doesn’t …

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