[7] Joel Schumacher (The Lost Boys, Flatliners) directs this weird, gloriously convoluted horror flick involving Nazis, the occult, and zombies — all on a farm in New England, beginning during World War II and ending today. As usual, Schumacher casts a hunk in the lead (God bless him). This time, it’s Henry Cavill from Man of Steel and TV’s The Tudors. Cavill and the cast …
[8] Crazed hunters pursue an American mountain cyclist through the misty Austrian wilderness until all parties fall prey to a super-sick and twisted, almost supernatural character referred to as Mortis. Director Federico Zampaglione puts a few fresh spins on this mash-up of familiar tropes and proves downright masterful at building atmosphere and suspense. The scenes involving Mortis (Nuot Arquint) are a rare treat for horror …
[5] If you saw the three that came before it, you know exactly what to expect from The Final Destination, and you’ll get nothing more — perhaps a bit less. It follows the same plot as the other movies — a kid has a premonition that everyone’s going to die (in this case, at a Nascar race), he ends up saving his doubtful friends, and …
[4] Wolverine is one of my least favorite X-Men characters, so maybe this movie just isn’t for me. That said, Hugh Jackman and most of the cast do pretty good jobs with what little they have to work with. The movie zooms along at break-neck speed, stopping for only the slightest moments of introspection or character development. Some movies work just fine with a modicum …
[7] Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin star as a divorced couple who start to fall back in love with each other, despite the fact that he’s remarried and she is seeing Steve Martin on the side. Romantic comedies are my least favorite genre, but when the characters are older, wiser, and self-actualized — not to mention played by pros of this caliber — they can …
[6] This was the last film from the late Nora Ephron, the rom-com heavy-hitter who directed Sleepless in Seattle and You’ve Got Mail, and wrote the script for When Harry Met Sally. It’s based on two different books (both true stories) and takes a two-pronged approach to storytelling that is cute for a while, but somewhat unsatisfying when it comes to a close. Half the …
[8] Half-way through The Loved Ones, I was hating it all over. The fact that it won me back impresses the shit out of me. It’s an Australian horror flick about a hapless teenager struggling with survivor’s guilt (Xavier Samuel) who gets kidnapped by a spoiled, sadistic classmate (Robin McLeavy) and her whipped father (John Brumpton). Once tied to a chair beneath a spinning disco …
[3] A man decides to rob the home of a client, unaware that a psycho-killer has already laid claim to the family and has booby-trapped their entire house. If you’d never ever seen a home invasion or torture porn flick, maybe The Collector would be something of novel interest. But there is absolutely nothing new here — it’s just a series of Saw-like death sequences, …
[2] When Rob Zombie re-booted Halloween in 2007, trading Michael Myers’ boogeyman mystique for a more pointed psychological explanation for his behavior, I didn’t hate it. While I much prefer not to see the man behind the mask or to understand his motivations, I thought Zombie’s remake was a somewhat interesting experiment. But his version of Halloween II is a whole different and far worse …
[9] Neill Blomkamp’s stellar directorial debut is an unpredictable blend of intelligence, emotion, and cinematic whoop-ass that defies convention and leaves you breathless. It begins like a documentary, outlining how a race of stranded aliens (the space kind) came to be ghettoized in South Africa. We follow a character named Wikus, a bumbling government agent who is tasked with herding the aliens to a new …
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