[6] Just when you thought the Nazi zombie subgenre was dead, Scandinavia gives us Dead Snow. For those who find the concept appealing, the movie cuts the mustard, as well as several arteries. Unfortunately, a hackneyed plot, stock characters, and a scarcity of memorable gags keep Dead Snow from transcending our expectations. The lack of originality is counterbalanced by the movie’s brisk pace and a …
[2] A bunch of sad, scowling, mopey teenagers cry and whine for two hours because they’re afraid to fuck each other. Some of them are vampires, some of them are werewolves, but nothing ever comes of it. And the main girl? Man, let me tell you. This chick is in MASSIVE need of some serious fucking. If she doesn’t get laid soon, I don’t know …
[7] Kathryn Bigelow (Strange Days, Near Dark) won the Oscar for directing this suspense thriller about three soldiers who disarm bombs in Iraq. The movie also won Best Picture, maybe just because nothing better came out during the year (except the REAL best picture, District 9, but I digress). It’s far from groundbreaking and surprisingly predictable — but it’s a brisk, entertaining flick that hits …
[7] Precious is the kind of movie a studio exec must dread hearing a pitch about: “So, there’s this girl, and she’s really sad, her daddy raped her, she named her down syndrome baby Mongo, her mother violently abuses her, she’s HIV-positive, and, yeah, it really sucks to be her.” Surprisingly, Precious doesn’t wallow in melodrama. It plays straight-forward and honest, and you really start …
[6] Drew Barrymore makes her directorial debut with what is basically a high school sports movie. It reminded me of those ’80s flicks where the young guy (be it Cruise, Bacon, Lowe, or Modine) commited himself to a sport his parents frowned upon, and then ended up winning their respect by winning the game. Well, just change the ‘him’ to a ‘her’ and make the …
[6] Shane Acker’s computer-animated post-apocalyptic fantasy is visually interesting, but the characters are bland and the story is wobbly. The movie is a tonal quagmire, trying to balance its dark and dreary subject matter with a kid-friendly PG-13 rating. The plot starts off unimpressively, presenting the aftermath of a future conflict between humans and machines, and surprise, surprise — we lost. The more interesting concept …
[5] Sandra Bullock won an Oscar for her performance in this film, and that’s pretty much the best reason to see this movie. I’m not sure if it was the best performance of the year, but she is certainly very good — surprisingly controlled and low-key. I have mixed feelings about the story, which is supposed to be the inspirational true story of a Republican/Christian …
[6] Michael Cera plays a teen looking to lose his virginity in this lighthearted teenage rebellion romp that features some fun performances from the likes of Zach Galifianakis, Fred Willard, Jean Smart, and Justin Long — but it ultimately doesn’t offer much that we haven’t seen before. Perhaps the freshest element is the fact that Cera’s character conjures an alter-ego for himself who appears on-screen …
[7] What appears to be a hackneyed vacation nightmare movie turns out to be a fresh thriller from reliable writer/director David Twohy (Pitch Black, Below). The script takes a cue from Scream, reaching a level of self-reference that allows it to exceed genre expectations. I often criticize movies for indulging in unnecessary plot twists, but not this time. Twohy’s twists are well conceived and executed. …
[7] Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley throw moral caution to the wind by creating the first animal-human hybrid, a creature they call Dren. Of course, once they open their genetic can of worms, things begin to go very badly. Dren, who has a poison stinger in her tail, forms an intimate but dangerous relationship with her foster parents. Things get especially complicated after Polley’s character …
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