Satan Met a Lady (1936)

Satan Met a Lady (1936)

[4] This second retelling of The Maltese Falcon (before John Huston proved the the third time was the charm) is a bizarre pseudo-comedy with an ingratiating performance by Warren William in the role Humphrey Bogart would later immortalize. Warren got…
The Blob (1988)

The Blob (1988)

[7] It's rare, but here we have a remake that is better than the original. Kevin Dillon stars as a high school boy trying to warn his community that a blobular alien is devouring everyone in its sight. There are…
Dredd (2012)

Dredd (2012)

[6] Pete Travis directs from a script by Alex Garland (Ex Machina, Sunshine) this second attempt to bring the comic book character Judge Dredd to the big screen. This is a smaller-scale production than the 1995 Sylvester Stallone version, but…
The Last American Virgin (1982)

The Last American Virgin (1982)

[7] While we were all enjoying the happy horny homogeneity of early '80s teen sex comedies, along came The Last American Virgin, a remake of a 1978 Israeli film Lemon Popsicle. It starts off like any other of its ilk,…
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014)

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014)

[9] In this sequel from director Matt Reeves (Cloverfield, Let Me In), the virus introduced in the previous film has obliterated more than 99% of the human population worldwide. In San Francisco, there is a small colony of humans focused…
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

[7] The first two-thirds of this franchise reboot (a second after the 2001 Tim Burton clunker) are surprisingly good. I was expecting to see computer-generated monkeys go nuts for two hours (all of which is saved for the less interesting…
To Be or Not To Be (1983)

To Be or Not To Be (1983)

[7] Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft star as leaders of a Polish theater troop forced to entertain the Nazis while simultaneously plotting their escape to Allied territory. You might think the material is too heavy for a comedy, but To…
The Dawn Patrol (1938)

The Dawn Patrol (1938)

[8]

Errol Flynn and David Niven star as World War I pilots confronting the grimmest odds of survival in this exciting and moving remake of Howard Hawks’ 1930 original. With its wartime setting and nary a woman in the cast, The Dawn Patrol is another great bromance in the grand tradition of war stories — it’s all about camraderie, brotherhood and sacrifice.

Willard (2003)

Willard (2003)

[8]

In this remake of a 1971 film, Crispin Glover (Back to the Future, River’s Edge) stars as the title character, a socially misfit momma’s boy with a telepathic connection to the colony of rats collecting in his basement. With his bed-ridden mother and condescending boss constantly picking at his self-esteem, it’s just a matter of time before Willard snaps and sends his army of furry friends to do his bidding. But the rats are a bit like the genie out of his bottle, which complicates this straight-forward little story quite nicely. Willard sews discord into his rat army by favoring the adorable white rat, Socrates, over the very large and envious Ben. So it’s a love/hate relationship between Willard and the rats, and though they may leap at the opportunity to murder for their master, they may also end up being his undoing.

Halloween II (2009)

Halloween II (2009)

[2]

When Rob Zombie re-booted Halloween in 2007, trading Michael Myers’ boogeyman mystique for a more pointed psychological explanation for his behavior, I didn’t hate it. While I much prefer not to see the man behind the mask or to understand his motivations, I thought Zombie’s remake was a somewhat interesting experiment. But his version of Halloween II is a whole different and far worse endeavor.