The Watcher (2000)

[2]

James Spader and Keanu Reeves star in this tired, busily boring, and wretchedly made thriller about a serial killer who likes to play games with the FBI agent on his trail. I can’t fault Spader for doing his best here as the agent, now retired and in psychotherapy with Marisa Tomei. Tomei, who I think is underrated, has precious little to do. It’s clear from the get-go she’s only in the movie to get captured and need rescuing. Was that a spoiler? You seriously shouldn’t give a shit.

Reeves is a good man in real life, and in the right kind of film, he soars. This is not the right kind of film for him. As the killer, he’s too tongue-in-cheek and self aware. It’s a parody of a serial killer instead of a real character.

But the worst offender here is first-time (and only-time) director Joe Charbanic. If the first twenty minutes of this movie were on purpose, he should stay in movie jail and never direct again. I have to give him the benefit of the doubt, though, and assume studio interference played a hand in the haphazard editing that left my mind spinning before act two started. Was someone afraid the audience would get bored? Was a hack editor brought on-board to shorten the opening act and leave it as emaciated and confusing as it ended up? Even if the first act worked, the rest of the movie still moves at a far-too rhythmic and predictable pace. And Charbanic feels the need to break into quasi-musical montages every ten minutes, too.

There. That’s all the time I want to give this movie. If you want to watch a serial killer investigation movie, please just watch Se7en again.

With Ernie Hudson.