[2] A cheesy-looking bug alien goes on a rape rampage in New York City. Any actress inclined to go full-frontal will wind up the mother of its space spawn! Breeders is a thinly veiled attempt by a porn director (Tim Kincaid) to go ‘legit’. The result is a perfect mash-up of a B-monster movie and soft core porn, with copious female nudity, a handful of …
[7] A mysterious carnival rolls into town, granting wishes at a sinister cost in Disney’s adaptation of the Ray Bradbury story. I wish the film were more strongly from the perspective of the two leading boys and that their parts were better written. But this is still a pretty entertaining fable that achieves some genuinely spooky moments. Jonathan Pryce steals the show as the carnival’s …
[6] Emilio Estevez and Craig Sheffer star as two high school best friends experiencing a rough transition into adulthood. While Sheffer’s character is falling in love and leaving behind his delinquent ways, Estevez continues down the darker path, dabbling in drugs and antagonizing thugs and police. Estevez adapted the screenplay from S.E. Hinton’s (The Outsiders) novel. The character arcs aren’t as well defined or pronounced …
[8] A group of kids who call themselves the Goonies rally together for one last adventure before they’re all forced by a real estate meanie to move away from their Pacific northwest coastal community. They find a map and follow it to hidden treasure, encountering criminals on the run from the law, a deformed cellar-dweller, bats, booby traps, and more. I was eleven when I …
[6] Christopher Collet plays a tenth-grader whose divorced mother brings a drug-dealing boyfriend home in this drama from Michael Apted (Nell, Gorillas in the Mist). The movie is pretty solid for its first two-thirds, ratcheting up the tension and creating a good deal of empathy for Collet and his little brother, played by the late Corey Haim (his film debut). The last act is a …
[7] While we were all enjoying the happy horny homogeneity of early ’80s teen sex comedies, along came The Last American Virgin, a remake of a 1978 Israeli film Lemon Popsicle. It starts off like any other of its ilk, with three teen boys trying to lose it, whether it’s to coked-out party girls, an over-sexed Spanish pizza delivery customer, or a hooker with crabs. …
[7] This stand-alone slasher flick from Bob and Harvey Weinstein (the first Miramax film production) rivals the best of the Friday the 13th fare. The requisite nubile flesh and gory kill scenes are here, but the teen protagonists are more likable than usual and the film creates a genuinely creepy atmosphere throughout. With its lakeside camp setting and deformed villain, The Burning isn’t going to …
[8] This film version of V.C. Andrews’ popular novel is considerably toned down, but it’s still a wonderfully creepy and sadistic melodrama. A widower takes her four children to live with their grandmother, who views them all as vile sinners. The wicked old woman (played by Nurse Ratched herself, Louise Fletcher) religiously brainwashes the mother and locks the children in a single room, where they …
[8] Frank Oz directs the film version of Howard Ashman’s dark musical comedy (which was in turn based on Roger Corman’s original film). Rick Moranis plays a hapless flower shop employee who discovers an exciting new plant that brings much needed business. Problem is, the plant is carnivorous… and it’s getting bigger! Ellen Greene reprises the quirky role she originated in the off-Broadway production, and …
[7] Barbara Hershey plays a single mother who is repeatedly sexually assaulted by an invisible force. I was impressed with how brutal and explicit the attacks are, right down to some creepy special effects that simulate the squeezing of Hershey’s breasts by unseen hands. Though the rapes are supernatural, they’re among the most terrifying I’ve seen on film, due largely to Hershey’s fearless performance. The …
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