Fire with Fire (1986)
[7] This is the kind of '80s cheese that works for me. Virginia Madsen plays a girl trapped in Catholic school. Craig Sheffer plays a convict in a correctional camp pretty close to Madsen's school. The two meet in the…
Splash (1984)
[6] Splash is a sweet-enough fantasy rom-com from Ron Howard (his second feature). Tom Hanks stars as a man who falls in love with a mysterious woman who just happens to be a mermaid. Darryl Hannah plays the fish; John…
One Dark Night (1983)
[4] Dead psychic vampire raises the dead to torment a girl trapped in a mausoleum. Okay, sure. A little slower-paced than I would like. Also, the subplot with the dead psychic's daughter listening to her dad's tapes is pretty dull.…
Screwballs (1983)
[7] Screwballs and others of its ilk were one of few ways a teenager could hope to 'sneak a peek' in the pre-internet days. Today, boobs are just a mouse click away, and you don't have to be coy about…
Breeders (1986)
[2] A cheesy-looking bug alien goes on a rape rampage in New York City. Any actress inclined to go full-frontal will wind up the mother of its space spawn! Breeders is a thinly veiled attempt by a porn director (Tim…
Something Wicked This Way Comes (1983)
[7] A mysterious carnival rolls into town, granting wishes at a sinister cost in Disney's adaptation of the Ray Bradbury story. I wish the film were more strongly from the perspective of the two leading boys and that their parts…
That Was Then… This Is Now (1985)
[6] Emilio Estevez and Craig Sheffer star as two high school best friends experiencing a rough transition into adulthood. While Sheffer's character is falling in love and leaving behind his delinquent ways, Estevez continues down the darker path, dabbling in…
The Goonies (1985)
[8] A group of kids who call themselves the Goonies rally together for one last adventure before they're all forced by a real estate meanie to move away from their Pacific northwest coastal community. They find a map and follow…
Firstborn (1984)
[6] Christopher Collet plays a tenth-grader whose divorced mother brings a drug-dealing boyfriend home in this drama from Michael Apted (Nell, Gorillas in the Mist). The movie is pretty solid for its first two-thirds, ratcheting up the tension and creating…
The Last American Virgin (1982)
[7] While we were all enjoying the happy horny homogeneity of early '80s teen sex comedies, along came The Last American Virgin, a remake of a 1978 Israeli film Lemon Popsicle. It starts off like any other of its ilk,…