Battle Royale (2000)

Battle Royale (2000)

[8] In a not-too-distant future Japan, the government cracks down on adolescent shenanigans by randomly selecting one 9th grade class per year to duke it out on a remote island until only one student is standing. Battle Royale starts off…
The Happening (2008)

The Happening (2008)

[3] One of the now-many thuds on M. Night Shyamalan's fall from Hollywood grace was this apocalyptic tale of (drum roll) plants exacting revenge on humankind... because they're mad... or something. It's hard to believe that it never occurred to…
Valkyrie (2008)

Valkyrie (2008)

[6] Bryan Singer and Christopher McQuarrie, The Usual Suspects director and screenwriter, reunite for this true story of German officers conspiring from behind Nazi lines to kill Hitler. Tom Cruise doesn't quite disappear into the role of real-life renegade Colonel…
Cold Mountain (2003)

Cold Mountain (2003)

[7] Anthony Minghella (The English Patient, Talented Mr. Ripley) adapts Charles Frazier's book about a Civil War deserter trying to get back to his lover. The film goes back and forth between the soldier's story and the sweetheart's story. My…
The Constant Gardener (2005)

The Constant Gardener (2005)

[6] A British diplomat in Kenya tries to solve the mystery of his activist wife's murder, only to get in over his head with the culprits -- a pharmaceutical company that is intentionally poisoning and killing people. The first third…
Friday the 13th: The Franchise (1980-2009)

Friday the 13th: The Franchise (1980-2009)

#12: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)  [2] This is the worst of the Fridays. The subtitle is a misleading marketing gimmick, as Jason only arrives in Manhattan for the last twenty minutes. Those twenty minutes are…
Team America: World Police (2004)

Team America: World Police (2004)

[4] I enjoyed Trey Parker and Matt Stone's South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut because it lampooned many things. It was like a greatest hits collection of the South Park TV show, and the songs were all far more amusing…
Mission to Mars (2000)

Mission to Mars (2000)

[5] Brian DePalma (curiously) directs this wonky sci-fi action flick about a team of astronauts sent to Mars to look for survivors after the first manned mission to the Red Planet encounters a mysterious storm. There's also something about the…
Michael Clayton (2007)

Michael Clayton (2007)

[7] George Clooney stars in this thriller about a lawyer who gets called in by a major corporation to "fix" a potential whistle-blower who is losing his mind the longer he keeps his secret. I never thought I would enjoy…
Along Came a Spider (2001)

Along Came a Spider (2001)

[6] Morgan Freeman reprises the role of Detective Alex Cross (which he began in Kiss the Girls) for this slightly superior sequel involving the kidnapping of a senator's daughter for ransom. At first, I was excited to see that Michael…