Zombie Lake (1981)

Zombie Lake (1981)

[2] German WWII soldiers killed and tossed into a French lake come back for revenge in this underwater Nazi zombie flick that is mostly famous for its generous amount of full-frontal female splendor. But it pretty much fails on all…
Lost Things (2003)

Lost Things (2003)

[3] A super-low budget Australian flick that tries very, very hard to be a heady psychological thriller. From start to finish, there are only five characters and a single beach setting, so the movie ends up feeling claustrophobic in a…
The Incredible Melting Man (1977)

The Incredible Melting Man (1977)

[4] This 'bad in a good way' sci-fi/horror flick features a melting astronaut who must feed on human flesh to keep from becoming a puddle of goo. I'm all for melting people, but The Incredible Melting Man is too narrow…
The Forest (1982)

The Forest (1982)

[3] A cannibal stalks campers while the ghosts of his two children haunt the forest in this goofy wannabe slasher flick that, despite having nature at the ready, lacks any atmosphere whatsoever. There's a nice scene where a bad actor…
Cape Fear (1962)

Cape Fear (1962)

[7] Gregory Peck plays a prosecutor terrorized by Robert Mitchum, a recently released convict Peck sent to prison eight years ago. Director J. Lee Thompson (Guns of Navarone) takes his cues from Hitchcock and crafts a film that can compete…
Love Object (2002)

Love Object (2002)

[6] Dexter's Desmond Harrington stars in this competent psycho-sexual horror flick about a guy who confuses reality and fantasy after falling in love with a lifelike sex doll. After gaining a little sexual confidence through his interaction with the doll,…
A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

[3] I dislike remakes in general, but Michael Bay can kiss a special place on my ass for remaking and homogenizing every horror classic from my childhood. His Platinum Dunes company is a shit factory, and A Nightmare on Elm…
Amityville 3D: The Demon (1983)

Amityville 3D: The Demon (1983)

[2] A worthless, boring sequel that would suck in any number of dimensions. The third act plays like a poor man's Poltergeist and the payoff, featuring a demon that pops out of a hole and belches fire, is nothing but…
Scream 4 (2011)

Scream 4 (2011)

[6] You really aren't supposed to return to a well too many times. But in the case of the Scream franchise, I was still thirsty. So I drank... and the water's still good! Of course the novelty has worn off,…
The Exorcist: The Beginning (2004)

The Exorcist: The Beginning (2004)

[4] Director Renny Harlin's cut of this film is more quickly-paced and energetic than Paul Schrader's (both films feature the same story and most of the same cast), but it has the misfortune of stepping in a big pile of silly…