Around the World in 80 Days (1956)

Around the World in 80 Days (1956)

[4] Around the World in 80 Days is a three-hour-long, episodic adventure that's high on spectacle and low on story or character. I wager it played better to a 1950s audience interested in seeing a cliche-ridden "It's a Small World"-like…
Gigi (1958)

Gigi (1958)

[3] What a shitty Best Picture winner Gigi is. It's a musical about an unhappy playboy (Louis Jourdan) and an unhappy debutante (Leslie Caron) who fall in love, but then out of love, and back in love, and out, and…
Earthquake (1974)

Earthquake (1974)

[5] Earthquake is one of many disaster films that came out in the early '70s -- the kind where a rag-tag team of waning celebrities band together to get thrown around for a couple of hours. In this one, Charlton…
Cavalcade (1933)

Cavalcade (1933)

[4] The third-ever Academy Award for 'Best Picture' went to this somewhat clunky, melodramatic story spanning three decades in the lives of two British families -- one upstairs aristocrats, the other downstairs servants. It may have been one of the…
Bullitt (1968)

Bullitt (1968)

[6] Steve McQueen stars as a San Francisco cop charged with protecting a mobster who is about to squeal for a US senator. When the witness is killed, McQueen works around the clock to discern the identity of the killers…
Training Day (2001)

Training Day (2001)

[7] Ethan Hawke plays a freshman L.A. narcotics officer crash-coursing with a rogue, undercover detective played by Denzel Washington. Training Day hits the ground running and turns into a taut, character-driven thriller that throws a few twists and surprises I…
The Broadway Melody (1929)

The Broadway Melody (1929)

[4] To give credit where credit is due, The Broadway Melody was the first sound film from MGM Studios, the second-ever Best Picture Oscar winner (the first with sound), and the first film in history to feature dance numbers filmed…
Sophie’s Choice (1982)

Sophie’s Choice (1982)

[8] Meryl Streep snared the best actress Oscar for her disarming performance as a Polish refugee forced by a Nazi soldier into one of the cruelest scenarios a mother could imagine -- choosing which of her two children will die.…
Argo (2012)

Argo (2012)

[8] Score another point for Ben Affleck. I never much cared for him as an actor, but between this film and 2007's Gone Baby Gone, the guy has shown us some serious directing chops. Argo is the true story of…
Alice in Wonderland (2010)

Alice in Wonderland (2010)

[2]

There’s precious little to keep you interested in this hideous-looking and busily boring shit-fest of a film that is both a nadir for director Tim Burton’s creative trajectory and emblematic of everything wrong with Hollywood in the early 21st century. Much muchness? Indeed. Alice in Wonderland is the cinematic equivalent of a priapism.