[4] Sarah Michelle Gellar (TV’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer) stars as a woman who has visions of a murder, eventually coming to realize the murderer may be coming for her, too. This supernatural thriller is okay for the first half-hour, but then it completely reveals its hand when there’s still half the movie left to endure. For all the mysterious build-up, the concept turns out to …
[7] If you love creature features as much as I do, you’ll enjoy Peter Hyams’ The Relic. Penelope Ann Miller stars as an anthropologist who teams with a cop (Tom Sizemore) to stop a supernatural creature after it wreaks havoc at a Chicago museum event. The monster effects are courtesy of the late, great Stan Winston, the museum setting provides plenty of creepy atmosphere, and …
[7] A rescue team investigates a seemingly abandoned spacecraft that has been inside a black hole and discover that its… well, basically it’s haunted. Sam Neill and Laurence Fishburne star in this haunted spaceship flick that plays like a cross between Alien and Hellraiser. Some nice moments of tension, especially involving airlocks and decompression, but the barrage of ‘is it real or is it imaginary’ …
[5] You know the drill: a family moves into a new home, weird shit starts happening, SURPRISE. Ghosts. A Haunting in Connecticut is a so-so haunted house movie with some interesting concepts and hackneyed execution. The mother-son relationship between Kyle Gallner and Virginia Madsen is almost strong enough to keep you invested, but the movie ultimately aschews character and becomes desperately preoccupied with plot twists …
[6] Two boys accidentally uncover a portal to hell and then have to fend off the demons that emerge from it. Probably for budgetary reasons, The Gate takes place almost entirely in one house, but the menace really needed to grow beyond in order to make a bigger impression. The demons themselves lack identity. They take the form of tiny monsters, one big monster, and …
[6] Just when you thought the Nazi zombie subgenre was dead, Scandinavia gives us Dead Snow. For those who find the concept appealing, the movie cuts the mustard, as well as several arteries. Unfortunately, a hackneyed plot, stock characters, and a scarcity of memorable gags keep Dead Snow from transcending our expectations. The lack of originality is counterbalanced by the movie’s brisk pace and a …
[2] A bunch of sad, scowling, mopey teenagers cry and whine for two hours because they’re afraid to fuck each other. Some of them are vampires, some of them are werewolves, but nothing ever comes of it. And the main girl? Man, let me tell you. This chick is in MASSIVE need of some serious fucking. If she doesn’t get laid soon, I don’t know …
[6] Troll is a dark fantasy confined to an apartment building where an evil Troll is sacrificing the tenants to open the doors to another dimension. The makeup effects are a bit hit and miss, with the main troll character being the most successful creation from director John Carl Buechler’s creature shop. Budgetary constraints keep the film from delivering a satisfying climax. Noah Hathaway (Atreyu …
[5] A professor and his daughter travel to a village in Cornwall to investigate a deadly epidemic only to discover the dead are crawling back to life! Hammer’s only zombie flick takes a long while to unearth its title subjects, and once they arrive, they take second fiddle to another villain. The zombies themselves look nice, especially in a dream sequence where they climb out …
[4] An expedition team discovers the body of an ancient Egyptian prince, but when they bring it back to England, a mummy starts picking then off one by one. This Hammer horror sequel gets off to a shaky start with ten minutes of clunky narration and then falls into a tediously predictable revenge plot. Budgetary constraints, which Hammer normally overcomes with ingenuity and resourcefulness, get the …
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