Pet Sematary Two (1992)

Pet Sematary Two (1992)

[4] Mary Lambert returns to direct the sloppy, uneven sequel about new characters who discover the burial ground with resurrection powers from the first film. She's working with a solid cast that includes uber-baddie Clancy Brown (Highlander, Carnivale), Anthony Edwards,…
Dagon (2001)

Dagon (2001)

[7] A frantic man (Ezra Godden) stumbles into a Spanish coastal village where the inhabitants are metamorphosing into sea creatures. As far as Lovecraft adaptations from Stuart Gordon (From Beyond, Re-Animator) go, I like this one best. The script is…
The Watcher in the Woods (1980)

The Watcher in the Woods (1980)

[4] An American family moves into a British mansion with an old woman (Bette Davis) whose young daughter disappeared over thirty years ago. When the American family's two daughters begin hearing and seeing things, it quickly becomes obvious that Davis'…
Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

[6] Zack Snyder (300, Man of Steel) made his feature directorial debut with this remake of George Romero's 1978 classic zombie sequel. This time around the rag-tag team of survivors holed up in a mall during the zombie apocalypse includes…
Zombie Lake (1981)

Zombie Lake (1981)

[2] German WWII soldiers killed and tossed into a French lake come back for revenge in this underwater Nazi zombie flick that is mostly famous for its generous amount of full-frontal female splendor. But it pretty much fails on all…
A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

[3] I dislike remakes in general, but Michael Bay can kiss a special place on my ass for remaking and homogenizing every horror classic from my childhood. His Platinum Dunes company is a shit factory, and A Nightmare on Elm…
Amityville 3D: The Demon (1983)

Amityville 3D: The Demon (1983)

[2] A worthless, boring sequel that would suck in any number of dimensions. The third act plays like a poor man's Poltergeist and the payoff, featuring a demon that pops out of a hole and belches fire, is nothing but…
The Exorcist: The Beginning (2004)

The Exorcist: The Beginning (2004)

[4] Director Renny Harlin's cut of this film is more quickly-paced and energetic than Paul Schrader's (both films feature the same story and most of the same cast), but it has the misfortune of stepping in a big pile of silly…
Fright Night (2011)

Fright Night (2011)

[5] A charmless, mediocre retelling of the 1985 cult favorite about a high school boy who discovers a vampire has moved in next door. Despite being penned by Buffy the Vampire Slayer alum Marti Noxon, the script moves far too…
The Conjuring 2 (2016)

The Conjuring 2 (2016)

[4] I thought the first Conjuring movie was moderately entertaining (for a warmed-up rehash of horror cliches), and was hoping for an improvement the second time around. The sequel could have entertained me by being more about Ed and Lorraine…