1980’s

[7] Predator is a tongue-in-cheek matinee mash-up of a combat movie and a sci-fi monster flick. Arnold Schwarzenegger stars as the leader of a commando squad who leads his men into the thick of a jungle where an alien bounty hunter starts picking them off one by one. It’s really Alien in the jungle, with Arnold taking Sigourney Weaver’s place. But the paint-by-numbers screenplay doesn’t …

[3] Mel Gibson plays a drug dealer trying to come clean. Kurt Russell plays a cop assigned to bring Mel down. Trouble is, they’re kinda friends. And now they’re both sort of in love with the same woman, a restaurant owner played by Michelle Pfeiffer. All three leading actors are beautiful to look at, especially in Conrad Hall’s Oscar-nominated cinematography. But writer/director Robert Towne’s script …

[6] Road House is so ridiculous, it’s kinda awesome. For starters, Patrick Swayze (and his mullet) play a bouncer/philosopher with lethal fight moves to match his zen attitude. He says no to anesthetic when he gets his cuts stapled shut, he slams his lady lover (Kelly Lynch) against the stone fireplace (ouch!), he stands up for all the little people, and he tears guys’ throats …

[7] Cherry 2000 is good corny fun. It takes place in a somewhat post-apocalyptic 2017 (almost there!) where gender dynamics and sex politics have gotten so complicated, that many men prefer to bond with robots rather than flesh-and-blood women. That’s the part of the movie that genuinely fascinates me — but these ideas are dealt with pretty early on, with the rest of the film …

[7] Lawrence Kasdan (The Big Chill, The Accidental Tourist) made his directorial debut with Body Heat, about a woman who convinces her lover to murder her husband. You’ll never see William Hurt or Kathleen Turner sweatier (or hotter) than this. The film takes place during a Florida heat wave, and between the constant perspiration and John Barry’s steamy score, you’ll likely feel the humidity yourself. …

[6] It’s not nearly as good as its predecessor, but I kinda like two out of the three tales in Creepshow 2.  The first story, Old Chief Wood’nhead, is about a wooden statue that comes alive to avenge the murder of a kindly old couple played by George Kennedy and Dorothy Lamour. Kennedy and Lamour are sweet, but the episode is too hackneyed to leave …

[8] George Romero directs an anthology from Stephen King in this homage to colorful horror comics of the 1950s. All five tales are pretty good. In Father’s Day, a deceased patriarch comes back to life to torment his heirs. Then Stephen King steps in front of the camera, playing a goofy hillbilly who discovers a deadly meteor in The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verill. Leslie …

[6] Reviled in its initial release for lacking any appearance of Michael Myers, truth is Halloween III ain’t that bad, it’s just mis-titled. It plays like an expanded episode of Twilight Zone or Outer Limits, centered around an oafish hero (Tom Atkins) and a stereotypical hot chick (Stacey Nelkin) who team up to uncover a conspiracy involving deadly Halloween masks. Halloween III is silly and …

[7] The Boy Who Could Fly is a goofy movie, but it has a lot of heart. Lucy Deakins stars as Milly, a fourteen-year-old girl who has just moved to a new town after her father committed suicide. She discovers her next door neighbor is an autistic boy named Eric (Jay Underwood) who is always sitting in his window sill with arms wide, pretending to …

[4] Bless Patrick Dempsey for acting his little heart out in this schmaltzy, cliche-ridden ’80s overdose. It’s basically a story of boy rents girl. Dempsey’s character is a loser who pays a popular girl (Amanda Peterson, also acting her heart out) one thousand dollars to be his girlfriend for a month. Since she’s in a pinch for the cash, she agrees and kinda falls in …

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