[3]

The shark is back, this time working its way into Sea World in Florida where it threatens the tourists. Now, I’m okay if you want to keep bringing back the same shark for four movies, even though it is literally blown to bits at the end of all four of them. For some reason I’ll never be able to explain, I’m even okay with the same shark attacking the same family in all four movies. I’m especially okay if one of those family members is played by hot-as-fuck Dennis Quaid here. I’m not okay with the fact that Quaid never gets shirtless, despite the fact that he works at a water park.

But what I’m even more not okay with, is the fact that there is zero tension in this movie. No build up. No skill in the execution of action or ‘kill scenes’. Things don’t cut together well. The shark looks like shit. The special effects are terrible even for early ’80s standards. And I’m not okay with Sea World having some ‘Fantasy Under the Sea’ exhibit that looks like a stop-motion animation set from a Ray Harryhausen movie. I’m not okay with Lea Thompson being underutilized. And I’m definitely not okay with the climax of the movie, in which a ridiculously inanimate cardboard cut-out of the shark moves toward us while the cast screams in slow motion. Even in 3D, audiences had to be cringing.

With Louis Gossett, Jr.