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In the Valley of Misfit Movies, there’s a monument to Rhinestone, an infamous box office flop that paired Sylvester Stallone and Dolly Parton in a country-western comedy. Stallone plays a rough-and-tumble New York cab driver and Parton plays a singer trying to get out of a contract to a sleazy bar owner (Rob Leibman). Parton makes a deal with the bar man that she can turn anyone off the street into a country music star in just a few days. Enter Stallone, and shenanigans ensue.
Rhinestone is basically a fish out of water story, with Parton taking Sly back to her hilljack town to learn the basics of being a ‘good ole boy’. He spars with her old boyfriend (Tim Thomerson) and practices singing enough to go from a terrible singer to a really bad singer. Of course, he and Dolly also fall in love along the way. They have a falling out when Sly thinks he’s ready to launch a singing career, but they patch things up just in time for the big song finale.
Rhinestone was originally written by Field of Dreams writer/director Phil Alden Robinson, whose original version of the script would have made a much better film. But once Stallone got involved with the production, so did his ego. His deal with the studio gave him ultimate control over the script and the directing. Robinson almost removed his name from the film after Stallone hastily rewrote the entire script, dumbing down the character development and filling it with clichés and stereotypes. Stallone clashed with the film’s first director, Don Zimmerman, who left the production after several weeks of photography. Bob Clark (Porky’s, A Christmas Story) was then brought in to direct, but Stallone maintained creative control of the film.
On one hand, it’s nice to see Stallone take a stab at comedy. On the other hand, Rhinestone just isn’t very funny or charming. The shooting script is painfully formulaic and calculated, and the dialogue is often tortured. There are a few good one-liners said here and there, but the dramatic stakes are underwhelming and you never believe — not for one instant — that the two stars are really in love. The tone of the film is a weak, undecisive one. It’s never funny enough to be remembered as a great comedy, not convincing enough to be remembered as a great romance, and not serious enough for us to ever really care about the characters or what happens to them. Parton doesn’t let a bad movie dampen her natural charm, though, and her song numbers are certainly among the film’s high points. The great Richard Farnsworth (The Natural, Misery) makes the most of his supporting role, playing Dolly’s dear old dad.