Director Chris Columbus hacks his own Harry Potter films with this knockoff that substitutes wizards with Greek Gods, Quidditch with swordplay, and Hogwarts for a corny renaissance festival in the woods. Young star Logan Lerman, the illegitimate son of Justin Bieber and Zac Efron, strikes a nice pose but lacks charisma. The only actors who leave an impression are Brandon T. Jackson as Percy’s half-goat sidekick and Uma Thurman as a Gloria Swanson-esque Medusa. The script moves at a punishing pace, attempting (and failing) to short-shrift its first act and opting to steer clear of any and all grace notes, even when Percy’s mother is seemingly killed before his eyes. The second act is stuck in an episodic quest for magic pearls, and the third act spirals into a cloying, emotionally hollow father/son moment.
