[3] I dislike remakes in general, but Michael Bay can kiss a special place on my ass for remaking and homogenizing every horror classic from my childhood. His Platinum Dunes company is a shit factory, and A Nightmare on Elm Street doesn’t buck the trend. Bay’s director of choice here (miscellaneous hack so-and-so) can’t resist but tinker with Freddy’s backstory, putting too fine a point …
[5] A charmless, mediocre retelling of the 1985 cult favorite about a high school boy who discovers a vampire has moved in next door. Despite being penned by Buffy the Vampire Slayer alum Marti Noxon, the script moves far too fast, passing every opportunity to build tension or suspense. Colin Farrell is better than usual as the vamp, but he can’t conjure half the swagger …
[7] [SPOILER REVIEW] Sue me, but I like both the Peckinpah original and this remake. Straw Dogs is a home invasion thriller that is either a tragedy about a pacifist man (James Marsden) who must turn violent to survive, or a celebration of the vicious animal in us all. I’m not sure which, but I enjoy the thematic exploration either way. Marsden, Kate Bosworth, and …
[6] This isn’t a reboot — it’s damn near a paint-by-numbers remake of the 1984 original. But for a remake, it’s not too bad — thanks primarily to the all-female ensemble. While none of the women have a chance to truly soar with the material, they create a camaraderie that pulls the film together. Kristen Wiig and Melissa McCarthy are the more level-headed of the foursome, while Kate …
[6] Matt Reeves, the director of Cloverfield, makes the second stab at John Ajvide Lindqvist’s novel about a twelve-year-old boy who unwittingly befriends a vampire girl. (A Swedish film version, Let the Right One In, was released in 2008.) The remake bends the material more toward an American sensibility, and as a result the American version is of course faster-paced, less nuanced, and far less …
[6] Marlon Brando plays Fletcher Christian and Trevor Howard takes on the mantle of the sadistic Captain Bligh in this remake from director Lewis Milestone (All Quiet on the Western Front). The bloated run time (three hours) doesn’t help the movie, and neither does a scarcity of closeups in the super-70mm framing. You never get into the minds of the leading characters and Brando is …
[6] This Dino DeLaurentiis production of the infamous tale of mutiny welcomes more shades of gray into the characters of Captain Bligh and Fletcher Christian than the 1935 original film, though I wouldn’t say it’s a better film overall. Bligh and Christian are portrayed by Anthony Hopkins and Mel Gibson, respectively. Bligh is a more complicated and sympathetic character; Christian is a more blindly passionate …
[8] This version of Hairspray disarms you from the very beginning notes of “Good Morning, Baltimore” and builds to one of the most joyful finales of any movie in recent memory. The musical numbers are all superbly choreographed and staged by director Adam Shankman, but it’s the last half-hour of this movie that really seals the deal for me. The climactic performance of “You Can’t …
[7] As much as I hate remakes on the whole, this new Evil Dead movie greatly surprised me with how well made it is and how genuinely scary and tense it is. It also avoids contemporary horror pitfalls — the characters aren’t douche bags and there is none of that bullshit monochromatic photography going on, for starters. Maybe the bar is just really low now, …
[6] A composer suffers from frequent black-outs and begins to wonder if he’s not responsible for a series of murdered women in the area. Hangover Square is a very good dark drama featuring a great performance by Laird Cregar. Some say this movie is a remake of 1944’s The Lodger (also starring Cregar), which is in turn a remake of Alfred Hitchcock’s 1927 film The …
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