Twilight (2008)
[5]
You know this story by now, even if you haven’t seen the movie: Girl meets vampire, girl wants to screw the vampire, but vampire is too good for that shit. I don’t generally like a story where one character pines obsessively over another (which is why I don’t like most John Cusack movies), so when two characters start pining obsessively, I’m bound to be in for a rough ride. I don’t understand Bella or Edward, and I don’t care about their relationship. I’m sure the book does a far-better job probing their inner-feelings and motivations, but the movie doesn’t probe any deeper than Edward would dare bite. The story offers nothing new to the ‘forbidden love’ formula, and for a vampire twist on the theme, try Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the series) — it was done much better there. The movie also lacks forward motion. Sure, Bella and Edward are falling in love, but how about a plot? It doesn’t emerge until the final act and ends up being your basic kidnap & rescue bit. In fact, everything about this movie is pretty basic and run-of-the-mill.