[6]

I don't normally like bad movies. I don't usually subscribe to the "so bad, it's good" mentality. Bad is just bad. But there are rare exceptions and Airport 1975 is one them. First of all, the Airport franchise is ridiculous. I mean, they made four of these things, and it's the same story every time: a plane full of celebrities falls into jeopardy and needs a'savin'. This is the second in the series -- and the most enjoyable. How could it not be? Check this shit out:

Karen Black stars as the flight attendant who has to save everybody from dying. See, a small plane accidentally crashes into the cockpit of her 747, killing most of the flight staff and blinding the pilot. Personally, I could watch Karen Black (rest her soul) do anything. But watching her try to figure out how to avoid crashing into a mountain while simultaneously not getting blown out a hole in the plane is pretty awesome. Fortunately, she’s got her boyfriend down in the control tower trying to guide her through everything. And who plays the boyfriend? Charlton Heston. One of the worst actors in history. And I mean that in a good way. Or a so bad it’s good way.

What’s really fun about this movie is how many celebrities the producers stuffed into it. You get a perverse thrill wondering whether each of them is slumming it for rent or actually honored to be part of the marketing promise of an “all-star cast”. George Kennedy returns for the sequel (he’s in all these damned movies), and he’s joined by Sid Caesar, Myrna Loy, Nancy Olson, Dana Andrews, Jerry Stiller (Ben’s dad), Erik Estrada (CHIPS), Sharon Gless (Cagney & Lacy), Helen Reddy as a nun, Gloria fucking Swanson (Sunset Boulevard), and Linda Blair. It’s really perverse seeing Swanson in this picture — it’s like seeing Laurence Olivier in Dude, Where’s My Car? And Blair is hilarious playing as far against type from The Exorcist as possible. She’s the poor sick girl on her way to a life-saving organ transplant. So if the plane crashes, not only will everyone die, but this rosy-cheeked little cherub won’t get her liver. (Or whatever organ she needed. It probably wasn’t her liver. Unless she drinks a lot. But I digress.)

Are you sold?

Did I mention the nun sings and plays the guitar?