[2] A worthless, boring sequel that would suck in any number of dimensions. The third act plays like a poor man’s Poltergeist and the payoff, featuring a demon that pops out of a hole and belches fire, is nothing but laughable. The third rate cast includes the incredibly bad Tess Harper, as well as Lori Loughlin (Full House), and Meg Ryan in one of her …
[6] You really aren’t supposed to return to a well too many times. But in the case of the Scream franchise, I was still thirsty. So I drank… and the water’s still good! Of course the novelty has worn off, but unlike many other horror franchises, the characters have grown and developed, and gosh-darn it, you actually care about Sidney Prescott, Gale Weathers, and dopey …
[4] Director Renny Harlin’s cut of this film is more quickly-paced and energetic than Paul Schrader’s (both films feature the same story and most of the same cast), but it has the misfortune of stepping in a big pile of silly toward the end. Is that Beelzebub or Bugs Bunny we’re supposed to be cowering before? Stellan Skarsgard is great as a younger Father Merrin (Max …
[4] Elijah Wood and Rainn Wilson star in this tepid horror-comedy about a group of teachers terrorized by children gone savage after infected chicken nuggets are served in the school cafeteria. I was bored with this one. It’s neither funny nor scary. If the characters were more engaging, I might not have minded spending about half the movie locked in a room with them. Gore hounds …
[7] A social worker investigates a mother and her two adult daughters who take care of a 21-year-old man who wears diapers, sucks baby bottles, and sleeps in a baby crib. The family insist the man has the mental and emotional capacity of an infant, but the social worker’s not so sure. The Baby isn’t the dirty, fetishistic film I thought it would be. Director Ted Post …
[7] Inner-city teenagers band together to protect their south London neighborhood from an alien invasion. This one’s for fans of monster movies, with interesting creature effects and a talented young cast. It kinda bugs me that the heroes (or anti-heroes) are all petty thugs and pot heads, but I guess that’s one of the things that distinguishes this flick from other monster fare. Leading man …
[5] A charmless, mediocre retelling of the 1985 cult favorite about a high school boy who discovers a vampire has moved in next door. Despite being penned by Buffy the Vampire Slayer alum Marti Noxon, the script moves far too fast, passing every opportunity to build tension or suspense. Colin Farrell is better than usual as the vamp, but he can’t conjure half the swagger …
[7] Everyone associates George Romero with his zombie flicks, but if you ask the director, he’ll say the dark character study Martin is his favorite work. Martin is a young man (John Amplas) who believes he must drink blood in order to live. Early in the movie, Martin moves in with his cousin (Lincoln Maazel), a superstitious old man who whole-heartedly believes Martin is “nosferatu,” …
[6] J.J. Abrams’ comprehensive homage to Spielberg’s early career is a decent spooky kids’ adventure movie. It does a good job stirring nostalgia among 30-somethings like myself. It’s not as mysterious or suspenseful as one might expect from Abrams, the creator of TV’s Lost and producer of Cloverfield. But it does have a solid emotional grounding like much of Abrams’ other work. The film is …
[6] Ridley Scott returns to the Alien franchise in a movie that really didn’t need to be an Alien movie, and would have been better if it were not. The first two-thirds are pretty solid sci-fi thriller fare, as the story’s ensemble cast of space faring scientists and corporate ne’er-do-wells arrive at a mysterious planet that may hold the key to humankind’s origins. I knew going …
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