[4] This ‘bad in a good way’ sci-fi/horror flick features a melting astronaut who must feed on human flesh to keep from becoming a puddle of goo. I’m all for melting people, but The Incredible Melting Man is too narrow in scope. The script strings together one ‘stalk n’ kill’ scene after another, with little attention to the naturally sympathetic plight of its title character. …
[3] A cannibal stalks campers while the ghosts of his two children haunt the forest in this goofy wannabe slasher flick that, despite having nature at the ready, lacks any atmosphere whatsoever. There’s a nice scene where a bad actor doesn’t realize he’s eating his own girlfriend, and the soundtrack is kinda cool in that gitchy, synthesized way, but other than that, The Forest is …
[7] Gregory Peck plays a prosecutor terrorized by Robert Mitchum, a recently released convict Peck sent to prison eight years ago. Director J. Lee Thompson (Guns of Navarone) takes his cues from Hitchcock and crafts a film that can compete with much of Hitch’s work (it helps to have Bernard Herrmann doing the music.) The censors put just enough of a damper on the film …
[6] Dexter‘s Desmond Harrington stars in this competent psycho-sexual horror flick about a guy who confuses reality and fantasy after falling in love with a lifelike sex doll. After gaining a little sexual confidence through his interaction with the doll, he’s able to start a relationship with a real-life woman (Melissa Sagemiller), but when Harrington’s character believes the sex doll is getting jealous, things start …
[3] I dislike remakes in general, but Michael Bay can kiss a special place on my ass for remaking and homogenizing every horror classic from my childhood. His Platinum Dunes company is a shit factory, and A Nightmare on Elm Street doesn’t buck the trend. Bay’s director of choice here (miscellaneous hack so-and-so) can’t resist but tinker with Freddy’s backstory, putting too fine a point …
[2] A worthless, boring sequel that would suck in any number of dimensions. The third act plays like a poor man’s Poltergeist and the payoff, featuring a demon that pops out of a hole and belches fire, is nothing but laughable. The third rate cast includes the incredibly bad Tess Harper, as well as Lori Loughlin (Full House), and Meg Ryan in one of her …
[6] You really aren’t supposed to return to a well too many times. But in the case of the Scream franchise, I was still thirsty. So I drank… and the water’s still good! Of course the novelty has worn off, but unlike many other horror franchises, the characters have grown and developed, and gosh-darn it, you actually care about Sidney Prescott, Gale Weathers, and dopey …
[4] Director Renny Harlin’s cut of this film is more quickly-paced and energetic than Paul Schrader’s (both films feature the same story and most of the same cast), but it has the misfortune of stepping in a big pile of silly toward the end. Is that Beelzebub or Bugs Bunny we’re supposed to be cowering before? Stellan Skarsgard is great as a younger Father Merrin (Max …
[4] Elijah Wood and Rainn Wilson star in this tepid horror-comedy about a group of teachers terrorized by children gone savage after infected chicken nuggets are served in the school cafeteria. I was bored with this one. It’s neither funny nor scary. If the characters were more engaging, I might not have minded spending about half the movie locked in a room with them. Gore hounds …
[7] A social worker investigates a mother and her two adult daughters who take care of a 21-year-old man who wears diapers, sucks baby bottles, and sleeps in a baby crib. The family insist the man has the mental and emotional capacity of an infant, but the social worker’s not so sure. The Baby isn’t the dirty, fetishistic film I thought it would be. Director Ted Post …
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