Zombie Lake (1981)

Zombie Lake (1981)

[2] German WWII soldiers killed and tossed into a French lake come back for revenge in this underwater Nazi zombie flick that is mostly famous for its generous amount of full-frontal female splendor. But it pretty much fails on all…
A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

[3] I dislike remakes in general, but Michael Bay can kiss a special place on my ass for remaking and homogenizing every horror classic from my childhood. His Platinum Dunes company is a shit factory, and A Nightmare on Elm…
Amityville 3D: The Demon (1983)

Amityville 3D: The Demon (1983)

[2] A worthless, boring sequel that would suck in any number of dimensions. The third act plays like a poor man's Poltergeist and the payoff, featuring a demon that pops out of a hole and belches fire, is nothing but…
The Exorcist: The Beginning (2004)

The Exorcist: The Beginning (2004)

[4] Director Renny Harlin's cut of this film is more quickly-paced and energetic than Paul Schrader's (both films feature the same story and most of the same cast), but it has the misfortune of stepping in a big pile of silly…
Fright Night (2011)

Fright Night (2011)

[5] A charmless, mediocre retelling of the 1985 cult favorite about a high school boy who discovers a vampire has moved in next door. Despite being penned by Buffy the Vampire Slayer alum Marti Noxon, the script moves far too…
The Conjuring 2 (2016)

The Conjuring 2 (2016)

[4] I thought the first Conjuring movie was moderately entertaining (for a warmed-up rehash of horror cliches), and was hoping for an improvement the second time around. The sequel could have entertained me by being more about Ed and Lorraine…
Mimic (1997)

Mimic (1997)

[6] Mira Sorvino, Jeremy Northam, Josh Brolin, and Charles S. Dutton star in this creature feature about evolved cockroaches that threaten to overtake New York City. Director Guillermo del Toro (Pan's Labyrinth) admits that the film's narrative was watered down…
Let Me In (2010)

Let Me In (2010)

[6] Matt Reeves, the director of Cloverfield, makes the second stab at John Ajvide Lindqvist's novel about a twelve-year-old boy who unwittingly befriends a vampire girl. (A Swedish film version, Let the Right One In, was released in 2008.) The…
Poltergeist III (1988)

Poltergeist III (1988)

[4] There really isn't a compelling reason for those ghosts to continue haunting poor little Carol Anne (Heather O'Rourke). But if it were a stand-alone movie outside a famous franchise, Poltergeist III might not have been half bad. There's inventive…
Cursed (2004)

Cursed (2004)

[5] There's a good concept at the core of this Wes Craven/Kevin Williamson (Scream) collaboration -- a brother and sister coming to terms with the fact that they may be werewolves. But serious werewolf fans will bemoan the cheesy Hollywood…